A New Religion Was Born « Jamesonline

A New Religion Was Born

As with most good ideas, this one hit me by accident and while drunk.

There was I getting drunk with my brother Neil and discussing religion when I explained my foolproof method for living the life you want to live and still being able to make it into heaven (should such a place exist).

As you know, the whole confession and repentance idea will cleanse your soul of sin and God will forgive you for your trespasses, thus allowing you into his heavenly kingdom (should such a place exist).

So, no matter how heinous the acts you have carried out during your earthly existence, all you have to do is say sorry to God (or one of his servants) and you’re good to go. You can look forward to a life of cloud sitting and lyre strumming in Heaven (should such a place exist).

Thus was born the “Church Of The Death Bed Repentists.”

We have no manifesto or good book to follow, we don’t have to meet every Sunday, or ever actually, all you have to do is say sorry to God on said Death Bed.

We allĀ  have a Death Bed, and as it is not necessarily a physical object we carry it with us at all times, so there is no expense required, no equipment necessary, no idols to worship and no barrier to entry. Anybody can join and embrace the philosophy of the Church Of The Death Bed Repentists.

The only problem is that we need to rethink our motto “It’s never too late to join” because sometimes, it actually is.

Suggestions for a new motto gratefully received.

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